The 30 Best Celebrity Underwear Bulges of the 21st Century

We’ve rounded up some of the best celebrity bulges that have infiltrated our collective browser histories since the turn of the century.

Obvi we couldn’t count them all — you try doing your job with a bunch of conspicuous dicks staring you down — so let us know who we forgot, who your favorites are and who you’d like to see strip down to their skivvies in the near future.

The 30 Best Celebrity Bulges

1. Cristiano Ronaldo

It seems there’s nobody who enjoys lying around in his underwear and smoldering more than global soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. Nobody. But maybe that’s because he gets a cut of the profits.

2. David Beckham

If you’ve thought seriously about having your penis surgically enhanced in the past several years, blame it on Beckham. According to the New York Post, he and other seemingly well-endowed male celebs (Jon Hamm included, because OMG that thing is what a power bottom’s dreams are made of!) are the subliminal reason for an uptick in penoplasty — which comes with a forewarning of unpleasant side effects. (So don’t do it.)

3. Mario Lopez

Lopez grew out of the Bayside High wrestling singlet (as Saved By The Bell’s A.C. Slater) that nudged every ’90’s gay kid’s sexual awakening and into big-boy briefs of his own design. His line of men’s underwear, Rated M, no longer exists (except on eBay, but eww!), but at least this photo provides a bit of nostalgia.

4. The cast of Moonlight

Back in 2017 after their film won the Oscar for Best Picture, its cast — including Mahershala Ali, Trevante Rhodes and Ashton Sanders — dropped trou for Calvin Klein (a brand that appears quite a few times on our list). We can’t decide which one is our favorite, so we included them all on our list.

5. Tom Daley

OK, so the Olympic diving superstar (and knitter) and father (Daley welcomed a son into the world with husband Dustin Lance Black) isn’t wearing “underwear” in this on-the-job shot, but anything less and he might as well show you where babies come from.

6. Michael Sam

Sam’s NFL career was over before it started, but we’ll be his wide receiver any day.

7. Justin Bieber

Bieber caught flack for what looked like a Photoshopped bulge in his first Calvin Klein underwear campaign, and he’s been hell-bent on proving the haters wrong ever since. Which he sort of did in these NSFW pics. Looks like a shower and a grower?

8. Laith Ashley

We simply can’t get enough of hunky trans model Laith Ashley.

9. Zac Efron

This scene from out director Lee Daniels’ The Paperboy, in which Efron plays the troubled title character, looks humid with a chance of spread those legs, baby.

10. Chris Pratt

When Pratt became outwardly religious, his official IG was scrubbed of lusty photos like this one. But once upon a time he graced us with this divine distraction.

11. Chris Hemsworth

Another of the MCU Chrises, Hemsworth is wearing a prosthetic penis in this scene from 2015’s Vacation, and we have no idea what happened in the movie after that.

12. Chris Evans

The third of our MCU Chrises, Evans looked better in his whipped-cream bikini in 2001’s Not Another Teen Movie than he does here playing strip basketball in 2011’s What’s My Number?, but we wouldn’t say no to his layups.

13. Trey Songz

If you think rapper-slash-actor Trey Songz is below-the-belt blessed — this pic in his Calvins and tell-tale tats leaves little to the imagination — then you’ll want to check out his brother, Forrest Tucker, whose NSFW pics leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

14. Calvin Harris

We love us some T. Swifty — especially when she’s being shifty — but we did question her judgment after dumping Calvin “I Pack It in Tight” Harris. He’s come a long way, y’all.

15. Matthew Lewis

No magic or wands were needed to turn Harry Potter’s Matthew Lewis from the frumpiest kid at Hogwarts into a stone-cold fox. Just look at those sorcerer’s stones!

16. Nick Jonas

The youngest Jonas Brother’s bulge looks like more than a handful (just the way we like it), as evidenced by this Calvin Klein photo shoot that pays homage to that famous Marky Mark spread.

17. Djimon Hounsou

The actor’s 2007 Calvin Klein campaign is one of the brand’s most beautiful.

18. Jamie Dornan

Dornan filmed full-frontal scenes for Fifty Shades Freed, the final chapter in the film adaptations of author E.L. James’ erotic romance novel series (according to director James Foley) but they ended up on the cutting room floor for no acceptable reason (to us, anyway). Even so, underwear pics of the Brit abound, and if you dig deep enough you’ll find uncensored and uncut images to hold you over until one day that secret footage is inevitably leaked.

19. Gus Kenworthy

When he’s not snatching up Olympic medals, Kenworthy works hard to keep his other assets up to snuff. (You can see plenty of payoff on his official Instagram page.) But we’re partial to this airy pose featured in Gay Times’ April 2018 issue.

20. Nyle DiMarco

This talented model and deaf activist can do no wrong.

21. The Game

The Game’s got enough bulge for two to four players.

22. Tom Hiddleston

Look’s like Thor’s not the only one with a magic hammer.

23. Michael Fassbender

Fassbender likes his underwear like he likes his own dick: Long.

24. Jake Shears

Keep the boots in the closet, Jakey, we just want the kinky.

25. Justin Timberlake

Back in 2008, when The Love Guru featured Justin Timberlake gyrating in a bursting-at-the-seams Speedo, word on the street was that his bulge had to be digitally reduced. Probably just PR propaganda to sell tickets, but it was worth our $12.

26. Mechad Brooks

He was basically the reason we binged the second season of HBO’s vampy supernatural series True Blood.

27. Kellan Lutz

Who’s the winner of the CK celebrity bulges — Mechad or Kellan? Choices, choices.

28. Russell Tovey

What’re you Looking at?

29. Tyler Posey

Posey shows off his wild side in a pair of boxer shorts that clearly depict the lengths he’ll go to for art — or maybe just a little attention.

30. Milo Ventimiglia

Here’s a GIF of one of America’s favorite TV dads adjusting the settings on his Cock-Pot. To be clear, this scene is from the 2012 Adam Sandler bomb That’s My Boy, not his NBC drama This Is Us (but we’d like it to be us).

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

Did we miss any of your own picks for the best celebrity bulges? Did we miss any of your other favorite celebrity bulges? Let us know.

This article was originally published on Aug. 3, 2018. It has since been updated.